Twenty years ago today, I remember getting ready to walk out onto the high school football field, and hearing a teacher tell us to look around as this would be the last time we were ever in the same room with all of these people again.  I looked around and saw faces and smiles almost as familiar as my own.  We stood there in that moment in time, ready for the next step.  Honestly, I’m pretty sure I felt sick because I just envisioned myself being the one to trip across the metal stage, and fall flat on my face.  Looking back, I’m sure I couldn’t have been the only person who thought that might be their fate.  ha!  Alas, I did not trip. My name was called, I shook hands, took my rolled up “diploma”, smiled, and made it back to my seat in one piece.  Tassels were moved, caps were thrown…and twenty years passed in the blink of an eye.

I look back now, and in some ways, life seemed much more complicated at 18.  Every decision seemed like the one that would define you – at least it did for me.  It was a time of trying to figure out what the next steps were, and having no clue what my future would look like.  I heard teachers talk during my high school days of how I would one day look back on those days and wish I was once again in those halls.  I really hoped that wouldn’t be true.  Not that I didn’t enjoy high school – just that I didn’t plan to live my life looking back.  So, class of 2017, let me tell you some of my truths:

Life won’t always seem as big as it does now.  Every decision won’t leave you mired with self doubt.  People will eventually stop asking you what you’re going to do with your life.  Then you’ll start asking yourself.  And that’s okay.  You might change careers. Goals. Have kids. A spouse….or two.  Or none.  Maybe you’ll travel. A little of it all. Some of you might make a poor life choice. Don’t count yourself out. People are going to judge you no matter what you do – or who you are. So be exactly who you are meant to be.  On the other hand, some people are going to love you no matter who you are. You’ll be hurt. Times will be hard. You’ll get up. You’ll lie in bed at night and think that you were pretty sure adults are supposed to have it more together than you do. Some nights you might lie there and be in awe at just all that you are able to juggle.  You’ll pat yourself on the back for being a one-man-band, or keeping up with your own three-ring circus.  Then you just might realize you need a day on the couch. You won’t always do the right thing – even if you try. Sometimes you’ll be at a loss for words. You’ll experience more life – and with that, you’ll experience the pain of death. You’ll realize your own mortality, and how fragile life can be – but you’ll also fully realize just how amazingly beautiful life is. And hopefully, you’ll look back and realize that you did some things in those 20 years that stand out far above the memories that echo in the halls of that old high school.

Twenty years later, I sit here and I am two days away from sitting at another graduation.  Young adults will walk in while “Pomp and Circumstance” plays from the band,  and family members will be snapping pictures, waving, and pointing out their child in the line.  Somewhere in that crowd, I will sit there with a smile of pride, and try to just stay in the moment.  I’ll try to put aside nostalgia. I probably won’t be successful. I feel a lump in my throat just thinking about it.  You see, it’s crazy looking back on it – but that night I had no way of knowing that almost exactly 20 years later, I will look out across a new graduating class while my son moves his tassel, throws his cap, and begins……begins a new story. Because truly that really was just the beginning.

Here’s to 1997 Kim – girl you had no way of knowing, but by the 20th anniversary of your graduation, you will have raised a man.  Holy guacamole – what an amazing 20 years it has been.  And it only gets better. This is a beautiful life.